Ways To Kill a C O C K R O A C H
by Randomannoy
Summary: Title says it all… The DGM characs have to think of ways to kill cockroachs… and why is Tyki Mikk being the emmm… sadistic commenter?  From sports commenter One-shot! Try it for a short laugh!


**~Ways to Kill A Cockroach~**

Disclaimer: Me own nothing… really… not even story

A/N: I'm just the typist and translator for this story so me no own… this story is totally not my style…storyline belongs to CXY, DGM belongs to Hoshino-San… Once again, original written version is MUCH MUCH better than this version cause got pics all that so email me if you want to read the original one… I'll try to find a website to post the written one… Meanwhile, I shall advertise **Exam Invigilator** cause I think its better?

Actual author's note: Sorry all cockroaches out there, no prejudices…actually there are =)

**Cockroach** is: Akuma that looks like cockroach

_**Allen Walker:**_ Crown Clown, ACTIVATE! *Uses tip of finger to tap cockroach on head*, making it see the beauty of the world then end its happiness by poking Crown Clown's claw into the cockroach's body… VERY MESSY! … but at least he saved the akuma's soul…

* Tyki Mikk goes into sadistic mode at the mere sight of the scene*

**Cockroach** is: Someone irritating - a thorn in the flesh

_**Kanda Yuu:**_ *Takes out mugen* HYA! Swipes Mugen around and starts pouncing around & waving sword like chopper. But stupid cockroach scurry so fast like stupid rabbit (Lavi) hopping around…So Damn Irritating! AHA! Jumps up suddenly and dices the cockroach…

Tyki Mikk: Lovely… KILL THE COCKROACH!

**Cockroach** is: Someone stupid (Like Jasdevi in Arc ep)- who deserves a punch/kick

_**Lenalee:**_ Loves cleanliness. Practically screams when she sees dirty cockroach… Eeek! Steps around screaming in her pretty boots trying to avoid the cockroach but unfortunately, the (not so lucky) cockroach still got crushed by her killer heels. Lenalee is very glad that it has met its demise and scolds it for being childish etc. Should have deserved a good punch across the face for good measure.

Tyki Mikk: Hmm… I would have liked more gore…

**Cockroach** is: Pancake! Someone who is so stupid that you want to flatten him

_**Lavi**_: This cockroach is not exactly like our Ba-Kanda in the way that he's more despicable, smaller, dirtier & doesn't have nice long hair to braid. Chicken feet! Frog jump into the air and slams hammer onto insect. 3Mang(expand)! Has fun administering different element seals on the cockroach… Who wants freshly killed and grilled pancake?

Tyki Mikk: … … Should have asks cheater A to try… …

**Cockroach** is: Something soft and crispy, lovely texture but not too much on taste

_**Arystar Krory**_: Vampires have VERY _fast _speed! Very pro F1 Driver. Considering in Allen-kun's case that cockroach is some sort of akuma… Innocence ACTIVATE! Kuro-chan has _fangs_! Pounce on cockroach and has a big feast… but somehow cockroach juice not quite as filling/ delicious as akuma blood…

Tyki Mikk: That's one cool guy… just don't use those teeth on me…

**Cockroach** is: Another very hard task to overcome T_T Poor Miranda

_**Miranda Lotto**_: Clumsy person, worried that she blotch up the job… How to catch/kill the cockroach? Paces around crazily until she accidently crushes the cockroach… Miranda prepares to apologise non-stop to the cockroach but remembers that the cockroach does not deserve nice manners and she has managed to finish her job…

Tyki Mikk: That is some absent minded excorcist… Not entertaining enough…

**Cockroach** is: A thing that is even more immature than immature Lavi

_**Bookman**_: North Crime! South Crime! East! West! Let's practise dart-throwing! Due to years of practice, Bookman is **very** accurate. The (not so) poor cockroach becomes a pincushion. Bookman transform into Panda-jiji and delivers a nice butt-kick that caused the cockroach to fly all the way to ~somewheree over the rainbowww~…

Tyki Mikk: Faints from the awful singing…

**Cockroach** is: A reluctant soccer player/donor

_**Daisya Barry (ooc):**_ Eheheh Mister Cockroach, be kind and charitable! Please donate to help these old people… Cockroach too bored to listen… Sorry Mr D. Barry but no thanks… Daisya: What you selfish old miser! I kick you ah! Sends charity bell flying to cockroach's head… OWW!

Tyki Mikk: Wakes up only to see charity bell miss his pretty face by half a milimeter…

**Cockroach** is: A concert audience

_**Noise Marie**_: Come on Daisya, let's work together! I use Noel Organ to irritate the cockroach and Daisya shake charity bell! Cockroach tabole tahan(cannot stand it) and dies form excessive noise pollution…

Tyki Mikk: Suffers serious head damage from the excessive noise pollution…

**Cockroach **is: Art Hater

_**Froi Tiedoll**_: Old man rambles on and on "Come on Mister Cockroach… This is a fine piece of art by the famous Picasso… I made a sculpture myself too (Innocence)! Cockroach: Aiya Mr Tiedoll, talk less crap la… so boring who cares about your sculpture?" Tiedoll: Hmprh! Innocence Activate! Cockroach got crushed by Art…

**Cockroach** is: Gunshot target, another pain in the ass (Cross)

_**Jasdevi**_: Cockroach: "Ehh Who are these two weird gays? One dunno whether boy or girl but has nice long hair and sewn mouth while the other one's pants are one long one short… Crazy people…" Jasdevi: What? How dare you insult us you stupid idiot? *Pulls out their guns* Piang! Debitto: Good job Jasdero and myself (Pats Jasdero on the back while running around and around trying to pat himself on the back unsuccessfully) Dero: Hee hee so easy die… stupid cockroach

**Cockroach** is: Candy Tester & Manufacturer

_**Road Camelot**_: Eh Cockroach! Come here! Cockroach: Yes Ma'am? Road: Sit! I scratch your head... *scratch scratch scratch, lick* Hmm, your cockroach juice taste like strawberry and cream! Lovely! You! Go make me some cockroach juice candy now! Cockroach: WHAT? I don't want make! I will die! Road: Die than Die… I don't care… Candles, ATTACK!

Tyki Mikk: Just recovered from head damage due to his awesome Noah healing abilities… My niece is learning from me Good Girl!

Sheryl: Papa antenna activates… Nobody is allowed to pollute my poor daughter's mind!

Cockroach is: A target

Lulubell: Mimi, go catch the cockroach… Mimi: Ok Lulubell-sama! *Mimi comes back bashed up because she followed the cockroach and rammed into a wall… Lulubell: Stupid Mimi! Unsuccessful again! Mimi: Sorry Lulubell-sama! *Crying non-stop* Lulubell turns into a snake and eats up cockroach…

Tyki Mikk: Hmm I shan't interfere with you two…

**~THE END~**

Final Note: My first complete fic and I'm not happy…

I shall demand reviews for this story cause this is a one-shot Cookies for everyone who R&R Requests for other characs are welcome


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